Stalking: Has Facebook Given the Term some Legitimacy?

“I just stalked all of ___ pictures from freshman year of college.”

Or. 

“She like __ television shows. I saw it under her “TV shows” on Facebook.” 

               

                The fact that people even admit such things would have been astounding a few years ago. Facebook is a tool that has allowed people create a digital life that is on public display for friends, family, and coworkers to see. Because it’s all there, is it okay to look at EVERYTHING? Has the ease with which we can use Facebook made it okay to see everything and not feel weird about it?

                I believe there are many basic Facebook features that have made stalking easier and more acceptable. For instance: tagging people in photos. If one did not want the Facebook world to view the photos they upload or are tagged in, they would not post them or they would untag themselves. Another example: Wall posts. If you did not want everyone who stumbles upon (or purposefully so) a profile to see what you have posted, you would message them, text them or tell them in person. And people still act surprised when they realize they are being stalked. But Facebook was created for the purpose of making interacting with others easier. It accomplishes this goal very well but are users gaining too much information about their friends?

                The new “See Friendship” feature amplifies the amount of stalking someone can do. Every single interaction you have had with a person is recorded under this page. Searching isn’t even necessary anymore. Why is this useful? This feature shows users the longevity and strength of a relationship. If there are many interactions, you obviously like the person and are intent on continuing whatever kind of relationship you have with them.

                But looking at other people’s profiles…

                Is that acceptable? I believe it is because people put stuff out there for other people to see. It is not unreasonable for users to be curious and to venture into the inner workings of someone’s profile if they are already clicking on other things they’ve posted. Because it is so easy to gather information about people, it is no longer abnormal for people to know particular facts about another person because they saw it on Facebook. Because the fact is, you put it out there, people are going to look. The term “stalking” does still have a negative connotation, but not when used with Facebook. Let’s be honest, everyone does it and we all thoroughly enjoy itJ.

Psychology of the "Friend Request"

                Before online social networking sites existed, we would make friends during face to face interactions with people we meet. Interactions would occur through classes you take together (if you are in school still), on trips you go, through various activities (like sports, clubs, etc.), through work, etc. Although many interactions still start this way, with the addition of social networking sites, we are faced with many more complications to creating friendships.

                Is anything really official until it is “Facebook official?” The argument goes that any sort of relationship isn’t worth anything until you decide to make it public. So “public” is advertising the relationship on Facebook? As silly as the argument may seem, there is some truth to it. Facebook has become as important as face to face interactions. Anything that is said or done on Facebook inevitably will influence what people think about the user and it will affect real life interactions.

                So when you want to add a friend on Facebook, what goes through one’s mind? First, the user decides whether or not they are good enough friends with the person to make their friendship “official” on Facebook. This determination is exclusive to the user’s thought process. Do you friend someone you met briefly? Do you add someone that your friends are friends with but that you have not even introduced yourself to? If you feel comfortable enough that it won’t be awkward when you see them, the user will most likely add them.  What about them friending you though? The friend request has created a complex within people that can be tricky to deal with. For instance, if you add a person you just met, will they think you are too anxious to be their friend, or will they be pleased that you also want to be their friend? If you add them, will it be awkward the next time you see them? Things were so much easier before, but Facebook has added a dimension to social interaction that is enjoyable and fun, right??

                What happens when a friend request goes wrong? Before I came to Stanford, members of the class of 2013 were allowed to join the Stanford 2013 group. I was able to see everyone who had joined the group and we were able to interact on the group’s page with future peers. There were a few people that added what feels like the entire Class of 2013 group. Although they might have just been really excited, it definitely created weird stereotype on the people who did this. And it was actually so awkward when I met them in person.

                But again, going back to the argument that “if it isn’t on Facebook, it’s not real.”— The stigma that this argument produces is a result of users buying into it. Facebook is such a powerful networking tool that you are able to interact with people that you would never otherwise interact with. Because users are able to become friends with virtually anyone on Facebook, and can therefore become “public” friends with people they don’t care much about, why not be able to say it isn’t official until it is Facebook official?

Why is Facebook So Easy/Pleasing to Use?

You open your internet browser and go to www.facebook.com. You are only logging onto Facebook to check a message. What comes up is a login screen. Fairly straightforward. You then log in and the homepage pops up, giving you easy access to what your friends are doing, your own page, and anywhere else you want to go in the Facebook world through the search box. Instead of just checking your messages, you end up looking at the pictures your friend uploaded from last night.

                Facebook has become so integrated life that it is sometimes hard to imagine not having Facebook. Facebook is growing at an astounding rate of over 5 million new users per week and a social networking site that used to only attract the age group of 18-24 year olds, is now being used mostly by, 75% that is, all other age groups. But why is Facebook so easy and pleasing to use? Why are so many people jumping on the Facebook bandwagon?

                What Facebook does that other social networks don’t is allow users to create a real digital world. In real life, we join clubs, we make new friends, we talk to these friends, we share pictures, etc. You can do all of this on Facebook. You can plan to attend an event by accepting an event invitation, you can join clubs and groups online, you can chat with your friends while on Facebook and you can browse through friend’s photos.

But why is this better than just doing all of this in real life? I believe it is because of the speed and accessibility that this information age demands. Writing letters is so 1950’s. Today, when our friends go travel the world, we want to stay in touch with them the whole time by Facebook chatting occasionally and viewing photos from their trip that they upload as opposed to doing all of this when they return. Facebook allows people to do their social interactions from the comfort of their home. Although this might not always be the best way to maintain friendships and relationships, it helps keep in touch tremendously and is very convenient.

Why else is Facebook pleasing? The digital world that Facebook has created is a social medium that fosters and inspires communication. While logged onto Facebook, one feels like they are connected with all of their friends even from their own room. From thousands of miles away, you can be involved in real relationships with people through chatting and viewing their updates (pictures, statuses, etc.). Distance and location does not matter. On Facebook, you can be as present in the lives of your friends as you would be while hanging out with them in person.

Facebook is easy to use but why? Facebook has an intuitive interface. You don’t need to know anything about it to figure out how it works.  Everything is very simple, a click of a button away. Adding a friend, posting a comment, liking- it’s just one click.

                In short, Mark Zuckerberg has created a social networking site that is transparent for all types of users. There is something for everyone on Facebook and because so many people are using it, and because it disregards many things that could prevent you from having a relationship with someone in real life (such as distance). 

Facebook Destroying Relationships

A quick blurb on a shocking discovery I recently made:

In a shocking survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, it was revealed that one in five divorces involve Facebook due to flirty messages and photographs (http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/business/1-in-4-us-divorces-involve-facebook-study_100467699.html). The article also mentions that many cases involve social media users reconnecting with old lovers and having inappropriate sexual chats with those they aren’t supposed to. Because of Facebook’s storage of wall posts, messages, and pictures, anything can be used as evidence. Using Facebook makes it easier to learn more about one’s personal life.

So...is Facebook is to blame for these relationships being destroyed?

I believe not. These statistics are not Facebook’s fault. Unfortunately, Facebook’s powerful social networking presence is simply a powerful medium for users to express the desires that they’ve always had; Facebook just makes it possible and easy to cheat. Rather, the fact that having a new medium has led to a spike in divorces tells us something about human nature.

Facebook here unfortunately functions as an easier way for spouses to cheat and destroy their own relationships. However, the solution to this isn’t reprimanding Facebook for destroying marriages. In fact, Facebook should be given credit for bringing out this problem into the light to let society know just how rampant cheating is and how prevalent the idea can be in any spouse’s head. A social network itself is just technology; negative concepts spawning from the social network comes from the network’s users, not the network itself.

Staying Connected with Facebook

Let’s visit a stereotypical high school reunion situation in movies. There are tons of hugs going around. Everyone is asking everyone else what they’re up to nowadays, if they are married, how the kids are—anything to get a better sense of how their classmates have grown and changed. There may be that nerdy guy in high school who is now a big shot, and when his former classmates see him they are taken aback and surprised. It’s an exciting situation, where everyone is trying to make up for lost time.

I believe that this picture of a reunion is changing with the growing popularity of Facebook in high schools.

I am Facebook friends with most of the people I ever talked to in high school. This range is very wide, since being a Facebook “friend” with someone else doesn’t have to mean real friendship; a slight acquaintance is commonly sufficient for Facebook friending. Rather than only being a site where true friends can interact, Facebook also lets us stay connected permanently with anyone we choose for the rest of our Facebook account’s lifetime. This loose standard for friending has enormous implications. All it takes for me to constantly be updated and notified of what’s going on in someone’s life is a friend request. After that initial step, the friend’s activity will constantly be appearing in my newsfeed, forever (unless I go out of my way to “unfriend” this person).

Reunions will lose much of their appeal and excitement because people are constantly updated about their acquaintances through Facebook in their daily lives anyways, whether through the newsfeed or a manual lookup. The old question of “I wonder what Bob is up to nowadays” disappears because I would already know what Bob is going through. While seeing classmates in person for a face-to-face chat still has its benefits, the mystery in a reunion is gone as people are constantly maintaining their relationships post-graduation.

Every summer and school break, I still constantly see most of my high school classmates; all it takes is a Facebook event invite to Lynbrook High School Class of 2009 for everyone to be notified. These happen frequently, so I am still strongly connected to my high school class, with relationships that have not dwindled much since graduation as they did before Facebook. Facebook thus acts as glue in holding social groups together through different life eras in instances where distance would usually cause a fall out in the friendship.

Social Media: Stanford Students on Facebook (Part II)

Our group created a survey for Stanford students to analyze the social media they use regularly. The survey contained of the following question:

“Let us say you are sitting in lecture and your professor introduces Mark Zuckerberg (CEO/President/Co-founder of Facebook) as a guest speaker. Mr. Zuckerberg begins the class by passing around a slip of paper to each student with one question: "If you could change Facebook in any way, what would you do?" Zuckerberg gives the incentive that the top 5 best ideas will be incorporated into the social networking site within the next year. What would you write?”

Some of the responses we received were:

“There needs to be better actions taken against spam.”

“I would incorporate a professional aspect to Facebook so websites like linkedin are necessary. It would keep everything in one place. So the idea would have a personal profile which is what we all have now and then a professional profile which companies could use to see your resume and work experience and things like that.”

“Better security!”

“Ability to video chat over Facebook in group chat setting.”

“I would add contact management capabilities. Specifically:

1. The ability to redesign my ‘facebook workspace’ to make it more conducive to networking and organizing contacts

2. Private tagging / grouping of people, for example I want to tag people as ‘runners’ or ‘bankers at Morgan Stanley’ or ‘engineers’

3. A reminder system to help me stay in touch with people”

It seems that student users are most preoccupied with ease of information access, privacy, and further means of communication. Those that are interested in using Facebook for professional or business networking means would enjoy features that easily “group” people into manageable categories.

A curious thing about our survey results is the number of responses concerning privacy. It seems contradictory that those using Facebook (a medium for publicizing oneself) are seeking more privacy. Yet it is logical that as more people use Facebook and other social networks, the opportunities to “hack” profiles and need to protect one’s information would increase.

In addition (and the most important for our group’s analysis), we included a system for students to rank their most commonly used means of communication with friends and family, giving each medium a score from 1 (being what they used the most) to 11 (being what they use the least).

A sampling of our results follows:

· 31.6% of students use “face-to-face conversation” the most

· 5.3% of students use “letters (post)” the most

· 31.6% of students use “text messages on mobile phones” the most

· 21% of people gave “letters (post)” a score of 5 or lower

· 74% of people gave “Facebook” a score of 5 or lower

· 84% of people gave “face-to-face conversation” a score of 5 or lower

· 80% of people gave “text messages on mobile phones” a score of 5 or lower

I was surprised at some of the results we received. Particularly, the fact that text messaging is on nearly the same footing as face-to-face conversations.

What do these results say about the fate of other means of communication in the face of technology?

As discussed in my “Has Facebook driven social interaction into a corner?” series, the value of the letter has significantly decreased. From our survey data, it appears that face-to-face conversations are also nearing subordinating to technology. What is the cause of this? Perhaps social networking sites and cell phones are keeping rates of in-person communication low. Perhaps the increasing pace of people’s lives forces them to use technology. A deeper question should follow: What increases the pace of people’s lives? My answer would be technology. As mentioned in previous posts, technology appears to be the cause and remedy of this increase in pace. In such a situation, can the world ever slow down?

Survey link:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/JVKJD7C

Pros and Cons of Facebook

                For many people, Facebook has become an integral part of daily life. Whether it be your 50 year old mother that goes on Facebook but only sits on the homepage or your peers that keep Facebook open for a greater part of the afternoon, Facebook has infiltrated most people’s daily routines. Facebook can be a great tool of communication and social networking (that is its purpose right?). Although it is one of the most one of the most innovative, popular and flourishing social networking platforms, there are most definitively positive AND negative aspects of Facebook usage.

                To start, let’s discuss the obvious pros to Facebook. There are two major positive aspects of Facebook that encompass other pros of the social networking site. The first thing, and what I believe is the most resourceful thing Facebook can provide, is the ability to find friends, family and coworkers. What does this do for the younger generation? Reaching out to someone can be difficult but becoming Facebook friends could be that first step that sparks a blossoming relationship. Personally, Facebook has helped me stay participate in the lives of and keep updated with family from India, even when geographically so far away from each other. With the time difference and costly phone bills, I would otherwise be unable to stay as connected as I am with them. I am able to view pictures, see what they are doing (via statuses and other wall posts) and even communicate directly via Facebook chat. And for the older generations? Reconnecting with old friends is made easy with Facebook and can be the reason many folks from the older generation join Facebook in the first place. For example, my Dad hadn’t spoken to his best friend from college since he had come to the United States but found him on Facebook and the two have been in touch since then. For the business oriented Facebook users, the networking power presented are immense and extremely helpful. You may get in touch with people who can help further your career or even just promote yourself and any work you do.

                The other main positive aspect of Facebook is its versatility. When you log onto Facebook, you are able to see a quick snap shot of what your friends are doing. The homepage allows users to see status updates collectively. Facebook has become social organization tool. Events are publicized and are sometimes the only form of invitation to events. The new chat feature has created a more personal interface, as you can interact with your friends who are online directly rather than just browsing other people’s profiles. The many different ways to interact on Facebook (liking, commenting, posting, poking, etc.) has made Facebook interactions more personable and real. Instead of just a profile with basic information, the interactivity has created a new world with the feeling that the people in the profiles genuinely exist.

These features have all given people reason to integrate Facebook into their daily lives and such a thing can be useful but also harmful. What do I mean by that? The ease with which users are able to find other people on Facebook can be convenient but its effectiveness can also bring unwanted friend requests and unwanted attention. Although Facebook has become a great way to network, there can be a lot of drama surrounding things that are said or done on Facebook. For instance, it is common for people to maintain an accurate relationship status on Facebook, whether that be “single” or newly “In a Relationship” with someone else. The transition between these phases can cause a lot of drama and unnecessary attention. It can also create awkwardness. An example: You and your boyfriend break up and you leave the post up on your wall. Your friends who didn't like your boyfriend like the relationship status change. This kind of cyber interaction can ruin or harm future real world interactions. Although Facebook isn't face to face, it is viewed as a way to express real feelings and therefore can be taken as seriously as face to face interactions. 

Privacy issues can be a negative aspect. Facebook has become easier to hack and spam. Although not a huge nuisance, it is still a deterrent. Another issue has come up with personal information sharing. This has caused a huge debate, some critics saying that Facebook is a gross violation of people’s rights. Businesses now use Facebook to check up on a prospective employee. Privacy invasion can be unwanted but is not necessarily the fault of Facebook itself. Each user chooses to be a part of the Facebook world and the risks they take with privacy are at their own discretion. Many new privacy protecting features have been added to Facebook in an attempt to give the user more control over their profile and who sees it. Users can now hide themselves from being searched and can determine what specific groups of friends can and can’t see on their profile (pictures, wallposts, etc.).

Perhaps the biggest con that Facebook faces is the amount of time you can spend on it. Though this is a con people associate with Facebook, it is truly only the decision of the user to log onto Facebook and stay on. Although Facebook isn’t complaining, it can become a real problem. There are even programs out there (ex. Self Control) that can control which websites you can’t visit for a certain period of time and which I know for a fact that many of my peers use to control their Facebook usage when they need to be productive. Why do people spend so much time on Facebook? Humans are naturally curious and Facebook quenches the thirst of curiosity in respect to social happenings. There is not possible way a person could be involved in the life of every single person they know but Facebook provides a medium to feel involved even if not face to face.

Do the pros outweigh the cons? I believe that the user experience is useful, fun, and fulfilling so why wouldn’t they?! Although there are negative aspects to Facebook, many of them can be eliminated by exercising self-control or changing privacy settings.