A quick blurb on a shocking discovery I recently made:
In a shocking survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, it was revealed that one in five divorces involve Facebook due to flirty messages and photographs (http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/business/1-in-4-us-divorces-involve-facebook-study_100467699.html). The article also mentions that many cases involve social media users reconnecting with old lovers and having inappropriate sexual chats with those they aren’t supposed to. Because of Facebook’s storage of wall posts, messages, and pictures, anything can be used as evidence. Using Facebook makes it easier to learn more about one’s personal life.
So...is Facebook is to blame for these relationships being destroyed?
I believe not. These statistics are not Facebook’s fault. Unfortunately, Facebook’s powerful social networking presence is simply a powerful medium for users to express the desires that they’ve always had; Facebook just makes it possible and easy to cheat. Rather, the fact that having a new medium has led to a spike in divorces tells us something about human nature.
Facebook here unfortunately functions as an easier way for spouses to cheat and destroy their own relationships. However, the solution to this isn’t reprimanding Facebook for destroying marriages. In fact, Facebook should be given credit for bringing out this problem into the light to let society know just how rampant cheating is and how prevalent the idea can be in any spouse’s head. A social network itself is just technology; negative concepts spawning from the social network comes from the network’s users, not the network itself.
This is so interesting how a site which encourages relationships and friendships can also have negative consequences for those. I have a friend who is obsessed with his girlfriends page, even now after three years of going out with her. It's gotten to the point that Facebook amplifies his insecurities. (He even checked her messages once when she left her FB logged in, and found some deep stuff). Anyway, I'm noticing increasing stress and energy expended on utilizing Facebook to "stalk" or even keep up with friends/sig. others amidst the tidal wave of information on their pages. While making matters more convenient, Facebook has also made more drama necessary.
ReplyDeleteThis can be likened to the introduction of appliances in household duties and its effect on women. In the early 20th century, most women worked within the house, often for their own families, while the husband would work to earn money. When household appliances and technology were introduced, it became easier to accomplish tasks. These improvements made tasks such as ironing, vacuuming, cooking, cleaning, washing laundry etc. incredibly efficient. But, with the rise of efficiency came the rise for demand. With these appliances came more duties and standards for cleanliness. Clothing and floors were washed more often. Cooking expanding into several dishes, and ironed clothing was the requirement. It was also socially constructed that the woman, not the man, was responsible for the house AND for raising the kids. Such casting lasted for years to follow, and yet this was just a simple introduction of technology to the home.
Now we're faced with the introduction of technology to the relationship, as you said Conrad. And you bring up valid points that "negative concepts spawning from the social network come from the social network's users" but I'm willing to say that, for the technology itself to hold no responsibility, we'd have to depend on critical users who don't succumb to the temptation of using this technology to incite drama in their relationships. Put it this way: we have the opportunity to drive a car past the speed limit, but it requires self control and sound reasoning to maintain the car under 65 mph. Likewise, one must prevent "speeding" in their relationship by respecting each others space and trusting the other. Slowing down and thinking calmly instead of blindly pursuing a motive for divorce. Trying to look at the relationship without Facebook, because Facebook will escalate an issue that already exists.
Nonetheless, thank you Conrad for a wonderful blog post and opening up my eyes to a deeper issue.
Well I just tried to respond to this with a comment, but it was too long and got deleted. :(
ReplyDeleteGreat blog post Conrad!!
Conrad, this is an awesome blog post. I agree that it is not Facebook's fault, but that Facebook just facilitated what could happen in face to face interactions anyways. Sad though :(. But, this always happens with new innovations. There are positives and people tend to also abuse it and find negatives.
ReplyDelete