Before online social networking sites existed, we would make friends during face to face interactions with people we meet. Interactions would occur through classes you take together (if you are in school still), on trips you go, through various activities (like sports, clubs, etc.), through work, etc. Although many interactions still start this way, with the addition of social networking sites, we are faced with many more complications to creating friendships.
Is anything really official until it is “Facebook official?” The argument goes that any sort of relationship isn’t worth anything until you decide to make it public. So “public” is advertising the relationship on Facebook? As silly as the argument may seem, there is some truth to it. Facebook has become as important as face to face interactions. Anything that is said or done on Facebook inevitably will influence what people think about the user and it will affect real life interactions.
So when you want to add a friend on Facebook, what goes through one’s mind? First, the user decides whether or not they are good enough friends with the person to make their friendship “official” on Facebook. This determination is exclusive to the user’s thought process. Do you friend someone you met briefly? Do you add someone that your friends are friends with but that you have not even introduced yourself to? If you feel comfortable enough that it won’t be awkward when you see them, the user will most likely add them. What about them friending you though? The friend request has created a complex within people that can be tricky to deal with. For instance, if you add a person you just met, will they think you are too anxious to be their friend, or will they be pleased that you also want to be their friend? If you add them, will it be awkward the next time you see them? Things were so much easier before, but Facebook has added a dimension to social interaction that is enjoyable and fun, right??
What happens when a friend request goes wrong? Before I came to Stanford, members of the class of 2013 were allowed to join the Stanford 2013 group. I was able to see everyone who had joined the group and we were able to interact on the group’s page with future peers. There were a few people that added what feels like the entire Class of 2013 group. Although they might have just been really excited, it definitely created weird stereotype on the people who did this. And it was actually so awkward when I met them in person.
But again, going back to the argument that “if it isn’t on Facebook, it’s not real.”— The stigma that this argument produces is a result of users buying into it. Facebook is such a powerful networking tool that you are able to interact with people that you would never otherwise interact with. Because users are able to become friends with virtually anyone on Facebook, and can therefore become “public” friends with people they don’t care much about, why not be able to say it isn’t official until it is Facebook official?
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